The Best Advice I’ve Gotten This Month
We all judge ourselves — as inconsistent, irrational, silly, needy, unreasonable, lazy, unrealistic. Often these judgements arise instantaneously in reaction to certain impulses. But the impulses don't disappear. Sometimes they go deep underground, only to arise in unexpected or unconscious ways at a later date. Usually, however, these warring parts are just below the surface, locked in endless conflict.
It might operate this way: you have a good job (or relationship or other life situation). On the one hand, it’s clear to you that this job is critical to your survival - it pays well, supports your current lifestyle and besides, what else would you do? You don’t have other skills. Career transition is difficult. You have a good relationship with your boss. Who knows if you will with the next one? So when frustration arises, the impulse to say no, or to leave the job, is easily mowed down by these pre-constructed arguments. But, without proper attention, this desire to change will grow in strength, frustration will build, and your career satisfaction will become a battlefield where only one perspective can triumph: stay or go, black or white.
Recently, a friend suggested something simple to me. It’s almost a cliche in Core Energetics, but something that I had not truly considered: there is wisdom in whatever you’re feeling. When these feelings (and their attendant wisdom) are given due process and respect they provide useful information. In the above dilemma, for example, if the frustration were examined, it might reveal a need for more managerial support, or a sense of under-appreciation. This information can then be incorporated into a broad and nuanced field of inputs to influence decision making - a far cry from the strained binary that colors most choices. Without this, decisions are either a rejection of Impulse, or total acquiescence. And without the light touch and courage to examine a feeling without acting on it (known as containment in somatic work) we have no consciousness, and no freedom.
