What Is More Important Than You?

There was a time where you only knew how to be yourself. This self was met with triumphs, pleasures and pains, ecstatic highs and intolerable heartbreaks. 

Eventually you grew in power and intellect. You were able to harness your energy and will in new and creative ways - splitting yourself into fragments, investing your energy in other people, burying painful material that you couldn’t process. But you also ceased to feel like a complete human. You distorted and contorted yourself to fit into the shapes you were presented with. Ultimately you ensured your survival. 

Years and years have gone by and you’ve forgotten your original form, seduced by the imagined power of the shapeshifter. The danger has passed, and what’s left is the deep, deep yearning to be whole. 

Occasionally with a client I’ll use forceful and even violent language to drive a point home. I might point out that part of them that is a liar, a cheat, a manipulator. This part would do anything to stay safe and in control. It can be horrifying and liberating to recognize and accept this part of ourselves. It also makes clear the level of self-deception and betrayal we engage in every day. 

To put this in stark terms I ask the question: what is more important than you? Where do you find yourself being inauthentic? Where do you fake your laughter? Where do you say yes when you mean no, and what is it that is so much more important than you? Is yourrelationship with a loved one more important than you are? Is sparing their feelings more important than you? Is your diet moreimportant than you? Your job? The price of wholeness is the courage to sacrifice everything for truth, and we suffer to the degree that weresist this leap of faith.

To put this into practice you can follow the following steps:

First: Observe the inauthenticity without shame or judgement. It’s a powerful signal. 

Second: Recognize the survival drive beneath it. This situation must feel like a matter of life and death to some part of you. Again, if youcan recognize this place without judgement you can learn from it.

Lastly: You can accept your fear and make a conscious choice to be inauthentic. Or, you can take a small but significant step towards prioritizing yourself.